Hola guys & dolls,
As it's Father's Day today I've decided to dedicate this post to my amazing dad. As most of you will know my dad passed away nearly seven years ago, in August 2007, after a six month battle with lung cancer. I still miss him more than I can put into words, he was my hero. Obviously every day I think of him and miss him but today, when everyone is posting pictures and Facebook status's celebrating their dads it really hits me that I will never get to take another photo with my dad, or tell him how much he means to me (even if it is over Facebook or Twitter). I would give anything to have one last chance to see him, to ask him all the questions I have and to give him the biggest hug in the world.
A lot of different medical professionals have focused on the loss of my dad as the central cause of my depression. Whilst without a doubt loosing him is a massive trauma to go through I know its not the only, nor the main reason for my depression. However when I am feeling really low in mood I wonder whether my dad would be proud of me even though I dropped out of university or even though I stayed for so long in a job I didn't like or even considering some of the bad decisions i have made? Its so difficult knowing I will never be able to ask him anything that I want to ever again. I also wonder on the reg what he would think of Jamie? Obviously I love him to pieces and think that's all that would matter to my dad but still, it would be nice to know.
So this is a message to my dad on fathers day (even though he wont get to see it);
'Dad,
Happy Fathers Day, I hope wherever you are you are having an amazing time and don't miss us too much.
I love you more than anything and miss you the world.
Lots of Love,
Rue xxxx'
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| The big man himself circa 1992! |
Of course my mum also deserves a mahoosive round of applause. She has been my rock through everything especially the whole time I have been 'depressed'. I haven't seen my mum cry or get upset probably since the year my dad died, she holds it in and stays strong for Morgan and I all the time. I don't think I will ever be able to thank my mum enough for everything she has ever done for us but I will try my best. She is the most amazing woman I have ever and will ever know and she will read this blog.
So mum, I know I don't always show it but I am so grateful for everything you have done for me and hopefully will continue doing (because I don't know how I could do this alone). I also love you more than anything. Thank you!
So thanks for reading everyone.
I hope everyone that is lucky enough to have such an amazing dad managed to tell them how they feel about them and if not then I hope today hasn't been to bad for you and that you know you always have someone there for you.
Love, hugs & kisses,
Ruby xxx
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